The cost of not going to therapy - can we afford it?

Photo by Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash

End-of-year expense

As we approach an expensive time of year for everyone - be that in increased heating costs, travel costs or celebrating end-of-year holidays, I, like everyone else, look at my own income as a self-employed person and try to calculate what I’m going to need for the coming months, and whether what I have coming in is going to comfortably meet what I anticipate going out.

Since the arrival of my child two and a half years ago, I have seen my personal outgoings do little else but increase, naturally, and I pay greater attention than ever to my household’s finances to ensure that we can have the kind of lifestyle that we want.

Some years, I have to admit that with health crises and some unexpected periods of being unwell and unable to work, it's all felt a little too close for comfort. However, as someone who came from humble beginnings, I am pleased to have been able to draw on that experience in shaping my expenses according to my situation. I know that I’m not alone in this.

A quiet time

If I look at my diary for the rest of 2025, honestly, it looks a little sparse. I know this is not because people have stopped thinking, feeling, or suffering, sadly. Sometimes it is because the end of the year is a busy time and people are travelling or seeing friends or family in the spaces when they aren’t working or doing their usual routines, and I get that. I do it too.
Some people are cutting back on sessions or letting me know they’ll be able to return to our work in the new year or early spring 2026, when their finances feel more predictable and they can commit to this investment in themselves. Again, totally relatable.

And the message that I have replied to them with, that I am hoping to convey to you and, perhaps above all, to myself, is that this is fine. More than fine. Normal. Expected. Essential.

Because, as much as I see many mental health organisations and practitioners rightly reminding us that counselling and therapy are essentials that we should consider akin to heating, water, and even pension contributions, the fact of the matter is that this year, perhaps more than many years in recent memory, people are struggling. People are having trouble feeding themselves and paying their rent. In this economy, it’s easier and easier to think of the talking therapies as an unnecessary expense to be able to cut back on.

The hungry gap (psychologically speaking)

If I may reassure any counselling clients out there reading this that the only acceptable answer from me or another private therapist is that this is no problem whatsoever, and it is absolutely, completely, wholly the decision of the person paying for the service and that I respect it. I'm not here to dissuade someone from making a decision that is probably a) difficult and b) possibly feels stigmatised (by our culture, not by therapy, I should add).

That said, my suggestions for those who feel the need to cancel private therapy in times of financial hardship would be:

• If it can be, let a lull in therapy be temporary - coming back to anything after a break is usually difficult, and it makes sense that coming back to counselling, the requirement to be reflective, vulnerable, and honest, can feel that much harder to access after a long break from your work. If you can get back to therapy sooner rather than later, there is a chance that your therapy will be that much fresher and more present in your mind to pick up on (with whomsoever that therapist might be).

• If you can, keep your work going to some degree - whether that be making sure that you block out some cost-free time for self-care, self-reflection, a walk to give yourself some solitude and thinking space, a journalling practice to keep your reflections deep and useful, or simply making sure you listen to some music or get the chance to read a few chapters of a comfort book over the busy end of year period. There is so much going on at this time, it’s important not to neglect ourselves.

Let me know your thoughts

I hope that therapists and clients alike find these reflections useful. Money and therapy are famously uncomfortable bedfellows, so if you have any comments, please do share them. I’m always delighted to talk more about the role of money in therapy, as my specialist training with The Trauma of Money betrays!