Finding emotional peace in uncertain times

Finding emotional peace in these uncertain times can feel like a hugely difficult task. One which many of us have struggled with in recent months. Even therapists.

Before lockdown I was dedicating some time to writing a book. I have been trying to write a book since I was about ten years old. I was doing well, I had almost ten thousand words. And then COVID-19 happened and I simply could not bring myself to find the creative energy to write a dystopian novel in a time that felt (and maybe still feels) dystopian.

Instead, I devoted myself to working. I worked all the way through lockdown. I worked with clients on the front line, working in hospitals, witnessing deaths on a scale which we haven't seen since wartime. It was exhausting. Enormously fulfilling but also vicariously traumatic.

In order to find emotional peace in uncertain times I took several steps to enhance my own self care and look after my mental health. I thought I might share a few of these with you in an effort to humanise the role that I have, and also with the wish that they may be useful to some of you:

Spend some time alone & consider how you are really feeling

It can be incredibly hard - maybe impossible - to really know how we are feeling when we are in the company of others. Most of the time we are interacting or reacting, and so we are not giving our brain the space to explore what state it finds itself in. If this is something which you find difficult to do through pausing alone, journalling - my next suggestion - may help.

Write down your thoughts in a secure place

Writing down what we think is very different to running thoughts through our mind. There is an honesty and a vulnerability which comes from committing the words to the page, and the slow process of writing by hand allows us time to form our ideas and really know what it going on within ourselves. It can also be a great place to vent frustration, anger, sadness, and other feelings which we might find difficult to share.

​Identify what things need to change

If there are some elements of your life which are causing you pain, take the time to consider how you might alter them. If it's hard to figure out what they are, brainstorming on paper can be useful. An example of this might be that we are working more than feels comfortable, or that our working hours really don't suit us. This is something which will depend of course on your financial situation and whether or not you are self employed or employed, but it is still worth exploring what your ideal situation might be, and trying to work towards that. 

Share how you are feeling ​with trusted people

If you're feeling overwhelmed or need support, then asking others for this is an excellent positive step towards feeling better. It may be that the person is unable to do anything about your issue, but that's okay - sometimes hearing us and acknowledging our feelings can be enough to relieve some of the intensity of feeling which we have been dealing with, and we have more space to do things to change our circumstances.

​Try to incorporate more activities which bring you pleasure

If you notice that in lockdown you stopped reading, or listening to music, or going for a walk then it might take some effort to reignite some of these positive habits now that things are starting to change. It's okay that it might need conscious effort to do these things, and even scheduling them in your weekly diary - like a meeting - can be a good prompt and offer a certain level of accountability, which keeps you on track and brings you back to the things which make you happier.

Talk to a professional

If these steps don't help to shift your feelings at all, then it could be worth talking to a mental health professional about how COVID-19 and the associated ramifications have impacted you. You will not be alone in this - we have all experienced what we hope is a once in a lifetime trauma for our generations, and we cannot expect not to be affected by this in some way. Plus the fact that it is still going on, some of us are grieving lost loved ones or cancelled plans are just some of the variables which mean that while governments may make efforts to stimulate economies now and encourage us to "get back to normal" we have no real knowing what "normal" will be after this. It might be useful to share some of these, or similar anxieties with a counsellor who has the training to support those in uncertain times, and to encourage us to come back to a peaceful place as much as possible. 

If you'd like to know more about online counselling with me you can click here - or book a free 30-minute introductory session with me here.